she woke up with a sticky ear
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
