just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
