if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
