windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My cat gives me a boner
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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