She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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