Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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