After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize