Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize