She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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