i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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