but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
