I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
