you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
