She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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