i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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