Apparently you make a good broom.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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