that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I didn't notice because vodka
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
