So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
