By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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