you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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