I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
