Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My ass is underappreciated
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
