I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
