ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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