I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize