she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
