I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
