It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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