We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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