shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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