He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
