I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
