i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
