I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
