So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
