So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
