butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
