We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
