she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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