Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
