Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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