Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
