It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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