Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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