You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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