Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
