I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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