i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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