just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
