You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
