your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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