You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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