I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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