Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize