Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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