U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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