Whod you bang
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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