I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
