On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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