Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Randomize
