just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Rumble strips road head = magical
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
