new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
