just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
