I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I made him laugh his dick is mine
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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