First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
