What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
